The opening kickoff of Football Season is about eight days away, and the Envelope of Financial Loyalty has about four donations in it. None of them is mine, so once again I wave gleefully from my glass house at all the black kettles out there. Being responsible for the payouts more so than soundbite commentary, however, my money is already in the bank.
SkyNet may be weakened with the age and the economy, but it's not dead. A couple dozen (ok, 22) of the faithful have already committed their lives, fortunes, and sacred honor to the prospect of having El Commissionero Magnifico memorialize their victory with a customized logo on the website.
And the money.
It's not all about the money, but a 2x3 picture lampooning your team name is not a straight up exchange for sacred honor, am I right?
(Incidentally, I have contacted the Half-brothers, Stepsisters, and Acquaintances of the Revolution that perch precariously on the fence, and have questioned both their heritage and physical prowess in respectful but stern tones. Feel free to prod them.)
But, the way I see it, usually through the bottom of a Double Old Fashioned tumbler of sturdy weight, it's time to revisit the awesome power of a SkyNet Football Season. You've competed in the past -- heIIfire, some of you have taken home some victory biscuits from this thing! You know what's it's like to commit to the study, the research, the stringent training; to have the wind at your back, whipping through your kilt and blowing your hair about as you raise your sword aloft and yell, "UNLEASH THE UNDERDOGS OF WAR! ... um, except for the Colts, they'll cover."
If you are going to be in this thing, then pony up the 88 units because you crave the fight, you know the teams, you know the games, and you know that this is your year.
And, deep down, because you want the kilt and the sword.
88 cash, at your earliest convenience,
El Commissionero Magnifico
PS. I'm out next week. Indulgences will be granted.
PPS. I changed the tiebreaker rules. Total game wins now trumps key picks. It's the Montione-Morris Resolution.
